|Statement||Purpose||To do this||Examples|
|ENCOURAGING||To convey interest
and encourage the other person
to keep talking
|Don't agree or
Use neutral words;
Use varying voice intonations
|"Can you tell me more..."|
|CLARIFYING||To help you clarify
what is said;
To get more information
Restate wrong interpretation to force speaker to explain further
|Are you saying ...?
Would you say more about that.
What does that look like?
|RESTATING||To show you are
listening & understanding what
is being said;
To check your meaning & interpretation
|Restate basic ideas, facts||"I thought I
heard you say..."
"So you would like to know more about reading strategies. Is that right?"
"We may need to check this out further..."
|To show that you understand how the other person feels||Reflect the speaker's basic feelings||You seem quite passionate about this idea."|
|SUMMARIZING||To review progress;
To pull important ideas, facts, & feelings together;
To establish as basis for further discussion
|Restate major ideas expressed including feelings||"These seem to
be the key ideas you have expressed..."
What I hear you saying is ...
Is it about ...?
Let me make sure I understand you ...
|VALIDATING||To acknowledge the worthiness of the other person||Acknowledge the
value of their issues & feelings;
Show appreciation for their efforts & actions
appreciation your willingness to delve into this difficult issue."
"I think I understand why you'd be confused."
|BUILDING||To help build &
continue the discussion;
To offer other opinions
Offer ideas or suggestions
|"Have you considered..."|
|To convey the
speaker's nonverbal message
To clarify the message of the nonverbal message
|Verbalize the speaker's body language &/or facial expression||"I've just been noticing that when you talk about your conclusions, you smile. That makes me think you're comfortable with the direction."|
Source: Bert Decker, The Art of Communicating, Crisp Publications, 1988.
|Copyright 1998-2006 Louise Wright Robertson||
Site last modified & updated February 09, 2013